How Did We End Up Here?

I was 12 when I met my friend Fishback.

His real name was Michael, but everybody called him Fishback.

It was a typical 90-degree Tennessee Summer Day, and I had made my routine two mile walk from my house to the local YMCA for a day’s worth of pickup basketball.  

When I got to the gym, Fishback was there shooting hoops by himself.

I asked if I could join him and over the next couple of hours, we formed a friendship through our mutual love of sports, video games, and a newfound romantic interest in girls.

Every week day, for the rest of the summer, Fishback and I would meet up and play basketball. Sometimes, he’d come to my house afterwards for a few rounds of Call of Duty. One weekend, he even came to church with me.

It was a fun summer, and Fishback became a really good friend.  

Soon, school started, and Fishback, being a grade above me, became harder and harder to meet up with. A year later, he went to high school, and the year after that, I ended up going to a completely different high school than where he was at.  

It would be three whole years before I saw Fishback again.

And it was in a casket.

In October of 2013, Michael Fishback was killed in a drag racing incident on the main road of the town we were living in.

At 16-years-old, Michael’s car was found flipped, after going 100-miles-an-hour on a straight-away highway.

He and another kid both died in the accident. 

I remember sitting there during his funeral wondering, “what happened?” “How did it come to this?” 

How did we end up here? 

Have you ever found yourself wondering something similar? 

You fall in love with a guy or girl one summer and then, all of the sudden, they break up with you, leaving your heart shattered and your mind wondering, “what happened?” 

You have vivid memories of your dad swinging you on the swing set as a 6-year-old, only for him to be completely absent in your life a decade later. “What went wrong?”

See, life has these ebbs and flows where we find ourselves in and out of relationship with particular people. And what I’ve found is that for so many people, at the essence or the core of their relationship is an alignment of priorities. And when those priorities cease to match up, when those priorities become misaligned, relationship begins to deteriorate.  

You wanted to get married, but your significant other thought that kind of commitment was crazy.  

Your mom had a high value for faithfulness that your dad was unwilling to uphold. 

Your friend wanted to you to start doing things or looking at things that you knew you shouldn’t, and so you decided to move on. 

And before you know it, someone who became so important in your life, all of the sudden feels distant…absent…estranged. 

Scripture talks often about how our relationship with Jesus is well…just that.

A relationship. 

Revelation 3:20 

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me. 

John 15:5 

I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. 

James 4:8 

Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 

I will come to him. Abide in me. Draw near to God. 

This is relational language.

This is a God who longs to be close, who longs to grow deep.  

But what happens when priorities are misaligned in relationship? 

It deteriorates. It breaks down.

The question that every single one of us must ask is: “How will I remain or abide in my Savior, Jesus?”

How will we continually, day by day, choose obedience over negligence?

What will we do to ensure that our priorities align with Kingdom values?

In what ways will we be intentional about pursuing the Father’s heart?

These questions and the subsequent answers that they bring to the surface are critical if we are to maintain a healthy, vibrant relationship with Jesus.

So, what is it for you? What do you need to begin doing today to grow closer to the Father?

Is it it time to pick up your Bible? Are you ready to take prayer seriously? Is there a conversation of reconciliation that you need to engage in?

Whatever it is, whatever the Holy Spirit is pressing onto your heart right now, don’t wait!

“How did I get here?” could be your reality right now.

That’s okay.

Choose today to come back to the Father who—with open arms—says, “welcome home, my child.”

Be encouraged.